Balancing energy involves the emotional, cognitive and physical. I'm sharing what I've learned to help not only my MS peeps, but anyone who is searching for balance in their lives.
I kind of have a couple factors working against me. Number one, I'm a Giver (or Protagonist) personality (according to the Carl Jung/Meyers-Briggs 16 personality test). If you haven't taken this, you totally should--it's quite accurate. Basically, I love people and love to make them happy, even at my own expense.
Therapy has helped me check my people-pleasing ways and learn how to say no. This has become crucial in the whole balanced life idea, but is something I have not mastered...yet! Another is that I've learned that if I have a busy day, I've got to have a quiet evening or vice versa. I can't go on full speed all day like I used to.
My kids know there is "tired" and "MS-tired". Tired is feeling a little wiped out after a busy day, like a normal-person feeling. MS-tired is bone-melting, heavy fatigue...like I might collapse on someone. This leads to time on the couch or in bed, which is irritating. Part of managing this disease is paying close attention to how I feel and knowing when to push and when to pull back.
What Does Emotional Balance Look Like For Me? I know that I am a people person, but alone time is critical so I can regroup. I am a teacher and an involved mother. I'm around people all the time. I do enjoy it, but crave alone time each day. I have a life where I have to be "on" frequently, but it's draining. Whether it's a long walk in the early morning or even commute time in my car; I've got to have it or I can't center.
I've also learned that some people drain me, don't effect me (neutral) or boost my energy. I don't know what it is, but some personalities and people suck out my energy. It's usually people who are more negative, needy, demanding or dramatic. I will find ways to limit my time with the people and rarely confront them...confrontation takes a lot out of me too.
Most people in my life are neutral, balancing really. These are most family, friends and students. My energy is neither drained or added to being around them. A few special family members and close friends add to my energy, which I'm forever grateful for. I've found that I get an energy boost from teaching (unless it's really direct-instruction-intensive) and from deep or fun conversations. Although I'm uncomfortable with it sometimes, but when others help me in any way, it adds. My emotional self craves those types of interactions.
Meditation has helped me emotionally. I've gone through some hard things which led to anxiety, depression and inner tumult that was relentless. My therapist recommended Headspace, which is a meditation app I love!
Reading recommended books to help me feel more connected to myself also helped...a lot.
My top picks:
- "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown (any of her books are on point)
- "The Assertiveness Guide for Women" by Dr. Julie Hanks (dynamite)
- "Self-Compassion" by Kristin Neff (transformative),
- "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson (my parents are cool, but the book helped me A LOT with the emotionally immature adults in my life).
Exercise: I've got to move every day--no matter what. Yes, it helps physically (which I'll explain in another post), but it clears my head and lifts my spirit. Moving for me looks like walks in the early morning, hikes, biking or swimming.
I got tired (not MS-tired, just tired-of-writing) and threw these on a wordle to show what balance looks like for me. It's good for the MS, but mostly it's good for my soul. I figured I've got to master this since I'll have a lifetime of dealing with the disease...no time to start like the present! Happy balancing to one and all!
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